Towards the End of Summer

This has been a big year for me. Younger has finished school and started on her adult life. July 1st she started working full time. She’s out the door around 7 and home by 4:30 pm most days. Unlike me who still leave work around 2ish.
I’m still trying to adjust to coming home to an empty house. I had plans for all that ‘free’ time but life filled it up. Work is still crazy, she played softball this year and my body needed care.
So off to the chiropractor 3 days a week after work which usually gives me about an hour to do what ever. Softball practice took 2 evenings and most of Saturday mornings. And then I took on a second paying job driving again. The up side with this job is I only work when I feel I would be available. So far, it’s averaged once a week. And direct deposit is a wonderful thing! No having to remember to pick up a check and then figure out when to get to the bank to do something with it.
This month Younger turned 22 and then participated in the Special Olympics for softball. The team stayed at the UMass-Amherst campus and played in Easthampton. We had glorious weather this year for both the players and spectators. And they won Silver again! The team that STOMPED them last year only BEAT them this year!
I had picked up one of my nephews on the way out to the tournament who spent the weekend with my Mom and stepDad on the ‘Other side of the Mountain’ from Amherst.
Nephew looks soooo much like his mom but with more freckles. I was able to sneak a few shoots of him and will be sending copies to a few people. He turned out to be a real ‘boy’! Playing in the dirt, looking for bugs and snakes. He had a glorious weekend as well. Mom dropped him off at the field with dirt under his nails and a birdhouse he put together with guidance from stepDad.
Having Younger another year older, out of school for good and working HAS made me feel old. I don’t look my age and don’t act my age but inside I feel old. Not ready to not drive at night old. Not wanting to take up bingo old but old. I look at my Mom and she doesn’t look old. Even though her children are all parents, making her a grand mother 14 times over and a great grand she doesn’t look like that kind of old.
I feel old in an almost good way. My life will no longer be dictated by a school schedule with all of the days off and regular vacation weeks. No more fitting my work life around school time. No more stressing because she’s going to be home and I have to work. I’m free to plan vacations that don’t coincide with every school child being out at the same time and so every place I want to go is packed. I’m free to stay later at work if need be and not stressed about it. I’m free to come home and watch a show on TV with out having to ‘share’ it with anyone else. Or take a nap. Or do nothing but close my eyes and design a new knit.
Old is starting to feel good!