Mother's Day

How was yours?? Mine, not so fun. I did get the see all my girls. Husband did not play golf. I did have a good meal. But.....

About an hour before we were to leave to meet Oldest at the restaurant where we had reservations, Husband's back went out. BAD! So Oldest came down with The Boss and The Gift. But at least I didn't have to cook and even though I had to bring food to Husband I had a good day.

I got to listen to a new audio book and play on the computer most of the day. I got to play with The Gift and see her laugh at my silly antics. The Boss showed off her new Game Boy and borrowed a game from Youngest to play. And she helped with the food.

And I talked with both Mom and Mother-In-Law, a sister and my brother.

I have decided that I'm going to try to do a daily update and post it weekly. I'm hoping that might jump start me in getting this blog going on a regular basis. And maybe I'll learn how to post pictures and such as well.

So the wrap up – Ok Mother's Day (as far as the day itself went) but good times with family.

HEROES

Today as I have listening to the radio 'they' keep remarking about the anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King. One show in particular made me want to write this. The show is 'Rabbi Shmuly' which I get on my satellite radio. Today his subject was Heroes. He made alot of good points about how this country worships the sports figure because of what they do when they perform in the sport or the Hollywood 'celebrity' because that's who the press focuses on which is probably the reason why our youngsters are so screwed up!
That got me thinking who my heroes are.

Well my heroes are my mom and daughters.

My parents divorced when I was less than 6 years old. She raised 4 daughters (my sisters are all younger than me) while working 2 jobs, one of them was third shift at Pratt & Whitney, paid off all the bills my father left AND still found a way to travel with us.
She bought a hard top camper and would load it & us into the car and take off on weekends. Picture a women with 4 girls pulling into a campground, getting the camper placed correctly and directing all those young kids. Now, picture doing this in the mid 60's! When she bought the camper, she didn't even know how to back it up! She asked AFTER she bought it and was TOLD how to.
We lived with my grandparents. The driveway had a steep entrance and was not that big. The trick was to pull the camper close to one side and angle the car the other way. Then we kids could unhook it, get the wheel on it and push it out of the way. She got so that she could do this maneuver in one shot even in the dark. Oh, and the car was a 3 speed on the floor stick with power steering and brakes. We had a few adventures with this car that I'll save for another blog.

Our first trip out with it, Mom met our first stepfather. He had rejected a campsite because he couldn't get his camper between 2 trees. He was recovering from back surgery and couldn't turn around to look over his shoulder. He even went so far as to tell the campground people that it was impossible to get a camper on that site. Along came my Mom and she looked at it and just pulled through the trees to get the camper set in the right spot!

When he died, Mom was now left with 5 girls, all teenagers and his mom to take care of. Money was always tight but we never went hungry, we had the basics for clothes and lots of love. She taught me the value of working for what you want and how to keep going when life throws you a curve ball or down on the ground.

After he died, she took a course on car maintenance so she wouldn't have to spend money on oil changes and tune ups. She took up square dance for exercise and sewed her dresses, which in my opinion, were much better than anything that could be gotten in a store. She did all the finish work on the new living room, which included taping and sanding the drywall, installing the carpet and installing the woodwork.

She always been there, leading by example. At no time in my life, no matter how bad my sisters and I acted or however we screwed up, did she not let us know how much she loved us.

My oldest is so much like me and yet so different. She repeated alot of my mistakes but she learned the lessons so much quicker than me. She is a phenomenal mother. I am constantly amazed at her ability to juggle 2 kids, work and school. Many's been the time that I wished I could win the lottery just so I could help her finish school faster, see her in a reliable car and a home of her own. I know someday she will achieve all of this on her own simply because she will find a way to do it.

My youngest has a genetic defect but she is one clever person. Her speech is very difficult to understand, yet she will find a way to make you understand her. She is passionate about country music, NASCAR and her favorite driver, 'Junior', the Pats and Red Sox, her nieces and other family members. She is always willing to try something once and will work hard at being able to do alot of things that we 'normal' people take for granted. I remember that it took 2 years for her to be able to use a pair of scissors. But she kept at it until she could cut along the lines. Oh, and she's left handed to boot!
So, if I'm ever asked who my heroes are these are the people that top my list. I admire alot of people. People like Abigail Adams, Rosa Parks, alot of NASCAR drivers, certain sports figures. But, my heroes will always be close to me.

BBC AMERICA TV CHANNEL

I have been cleaning my house but stop to rest alot. And I completely stop at 3 pm. Why, you ask? Because from 3 to 5 I am hooked on 'How clean is your house' and 'You are what you eat'. Now, don't get me wrong. My house is no where near as bad the homes they clean up. But alot of what they (Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie) make sense to me. I just didn't realize how bad dust can be for those that have allergies to it. Like me and Husband and Youngest.
I like that they use 'green' cleaning. I've picked up a lot of tips and tricks from this show. And I've come to the decision that I'm going that route as much as possible. Now I hate shopping at Wal-Mart but the other day I spent close to $100 bucks at the local one to get the supplies I needed to get me going on this. I needed spray bottles and diapers and a few other things. Most everything else I already had here, such as white vinager, baking soda and borax. I've even bookmarked a couple of 'green cleaning' sites to help make the transition easier.
I've been cleaning up a storm this week to the point that I even took the oven door off my stove to facilitate getting my upper body inside to clean it! I've already noticed a big difference in how I feel. Normally this time of year, my outdoor allergies start acting up and I quickly start down the migraine, sinus infection road. So far, so good!
I've even started to develop a cleaning plan and have written it down. There are things that have to be done every day and then weekly and monthly stuff. I figure that with returning to work soon, with a plan I can keep up. And Youngest is becoming quite the helper. So it looks like Husband is outnumbered. He really hasn't taken to this so far. But Youngest is a better nagger than me!

And as for eating, we are very bland here at Casa Fibergoddess. I realized that most of our meals are brown and yellowish. No red, greens or any other colors. As I said in my previous post, I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME. Towards that, I have been eating well. I estimate that I've lost 10 pounds over the last few months and am determined to gain it back. The internet is a wonderful thing! But, I've discovered that I have to increase my caloric intake to over 2000 a day to safely gain 1 to 2 pounds a mouth. Yikes! So, it will be oatmeal AND toast with peanut butter for breakfast, 2 snacks before lunch, something besides ham and cheese on white bread for lunch, 2 more snacks before supper, lots of carbs and protein for supper and a bedtime snack. Now before you wig out, I'm not going the junk food route.
There is a 'gourmet' farm stand just down the street from work. They carry a lot of organic and healthy stuff. So, it will be nuts and dried fruit and fresh veggies for snacks. Whole wheat pasta and quality made box mixes. Not a lot of added salt and sugar, etc. I figure that Husband and Youngest (who has, on her own, lost over 10 pounds this year!!!) will also benefit from this diet.

I'm hoping that I can get my work schedule going in a direction that won't stress me out too much so I can function when I get home. Having a regular eating schedule is not possible but my plan is to put healthy snacks in a fanny pack and wear it. That way, before I get too hungry I can eat and that's the key for me. I can't wait until I'm hungry because then I don't want to eat.

DOG WITH A BRAIN

My middle sister just called me and I have to tell you what she related to me.
Back in December, she and family stopped by and I took her to my S.A.B.L.E. to shop for some yarn. She and College Grad daughter crochet and I try my best to supply them with new yarn when they visit. Seeing a how Sister was to be on the road for the next few days, she shopped well.
This is what she told me today. She has 2 dogs, one who just realized it has a brain after having it's head coiffed. Her house is a split level and she was upstairs when the newly brained dog came through the door .... with yarn!
She had the yarn and WIP in a bag next to her chair in the living room and apparently he checked it out. And got caught up in it. A cat couldn't have done a better job! She reported that not only was it wrapped around most of the furniture on the first floor, he even managed to wrap the other dog with yarn.
I am happy to report that dog and yarn made a speedy recovery!

The Long Road Back

On Veteran's Day I awoke to find that I had vertigo. Vertigo is not just swinging or spinning. Vertigo is full on gyro spinning! I talking about forward, around and sideways, all at the same time. For someone who hates rollercoaster's and get motion sick watching boats on TV this is NOT a 'good thing'. Since then I have been pretty much confined to home.
The first few weeks at home were basically spent on the couch, leaning to one side and carefully editing what I watched on TV. The ER doc gave me a prescription for a motion sickness pill. That worked OK for a few days. I'd take it and pass out for a few hours. When I was awake and wanting to get to another room, I'd have to hold onto something and make sure that my head was down and move at a less than a snail pace. But it started to make me feel even sicker the more I took it. So my regular doctor gave me a prescription for a motion sickness patch. These are worn behind your ear for up to 3 days at a time.
Turns out I developed Benign Positional Vertigo. I had blood tests, an MRI and multiple visits with several doctors. The ENT was the one that got me on the road to recovery. Unfortunatly, I did see him until the beginning of this month.
He looked at my ears, gave me a hearing test (to rule out several other nasty things that are chronic conditions) and referred me for physical therapy. Who knew that there was PT for gyro spinning! Well, I've had good days and bad days. The PT started to work almost the first day. Problem was that by this time I still needed the motion sickness patch to function. Turns out you can get 'addicted' to these.
How do I know? About 2 weeks ago, the patch I put on started to itch about 8 hours after I applied it. 3 days later when I removed it, it looked like I had be burned with a cigarette. Fool that I am, I decided to try a half patch instead. Same result, so I stopped using it. Turns out that I developed an allergy to the adhesive.
I wasn't sure what was worse, the vertigo or the intense nausea that I developed. So, back to the doctor's I go. I was laying on the exam table, curled in a ball when he walked in. Another prescription and I was on my way home.
Here it is, 4 days later, and I'm feeling so much better. I'm still not 100%. I'm almost walking full speed, I can eat, knit, do some housework and I'm sleeping much better. I can't read full speed yet and I still can't spin. I still haven't driven my car at night and quick side to side movements bring back the spinning. That is subsiding quicker but I can't go back to work until I have that under control. It's one thing to drive my car with only me in it and another to drive a company vehicle.
Today is my birthday and it's been one of the best I've had in a long time. We stayed home and the Oldest came with The Boss and The Gift. Husband got Boston Market chicken with alot of fixin's and we played with The Gift. She's very mobile and such a hoot!
The cards were great, the house was cleaned (including being vacuumed, which has not been done since I've been sick. Don't ask!), the food wonderful and the presents perfect!
Oh The presents! Flowers, 1 bag of Lindt Dark Chocolate truffles, 2 Lindt 70% Dark Chocolate bars (turns out The Boss loves this almost as much as I do!) and 2 large boxes of Junior Mints.
Oldest, The Boss and I sang along with some of my favorite country songs. I learned that Oldest, after many years of running screaming from the house whenever I played anything remotely country, now knows most of my favorite songs.
The Boss and I sang and danced to one of her favorite's – 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia' by CDB! Gotta love that. And having received his newest one for Christmas, I was surprise to find out that Oldest knows all the words to 'Drinking My Baby Goodbye'! Turns out that the SO deemed that his song about her when they had broken up. And The Gift seemed to like it when I scooped her up to slow dance around the living room to my newest favorite song from Big & Rich.
So for now I'm OK with my progress. I need at least one more PT session under my belt and I'm hoping to be back to work before the Daytona 500 in February.
Oh and the house? Don't ask. I was making progress until last week. I'm hoping to get most of my spring cleaning done before I head back to work. I won't bore you with how much paper and junk I've thrown out so far or the state of most of the surfaces especially in the kitchen. Suffice to say, that Husband has not missed anything, Youngest is very happy with the shape of her room and I can walk around without tripping or sticking to stuff!
Having to stop cold turkey all activity has given me time to think and reflect. I've decided to change a few things in my life. I'm going to treat myself better. Maybe try yoga and see a nutritionist to pump up my immune system. I will not take on other's stress or try to do it all myself. I'm going to stop when I get tired and rest. I'm going to do something for my mind, body and spirit everyday and if it means that Husband and Youngest have to do for themselves so be it.
In other words, I'm going to be very selfish about what I do from now on.

Never Forget

I'm glad that it rained today. I was able to work without wanting to burst into tears.

Do you remember where you were 6 years ago? What you were doing? Do you remember what the following weeks were like? How we forgot our differences. How proudly we flew the flag, how much we wanted to help others, even strangers. How our hearts broke with every news story, picture or even a brief thought?

I made a conscious effort not to glue myself to the TV. I didn't read much of the newspaper accounts and stuck to my regular radio stations. True be told I'm not much of a media hound. And knowing myself, I couldn't take alot of what was being reported.

There were a few instances where I wanted to smash a TV 'news' person. The one that stands out still makes me furious! A gather of was to being held at City Hall in Boston with Christian, Jews and Muslim religious leaders attending as part of a 'healing' service. I was sitting in my doctor's office, which helped me to keep my anger in check. The TV was on and some idiot was 'ON THE SCENE LIVE!!!!' answering question from the anchor back in the studio when the anchor asked the most idiotic, asinine, unknowledgeable, inexcusable question. This person asked 'If any Muslims have shown up yet?' and did it with not only a smile on their face but in their voice!

Of course, we all walk around with our religion stamped on our forehead so we can be readily identified as a Jew or Christian or Buddhist in a crowd. I must give the on the scene person credit because even he was stunned by the question. He did recover pretty quickly and give a short answer but for me that was the point that I noticed attitudes started to change.

When my doctor came into the exam room his phone was ringing and when he answered the poison that spewed out from it shocked me! He is not Muslim, he is not Iranian and he does not support terrorists. I so wanted to grab his phone, crawl through it and stuff my fist down the throat of the caller for being so ignorant! Instead, I apologized. I apologized for an American!

So here, we are 6 years later, more hated then ever. Fighting a war in 2 different countries, a war we can't win or even break even in. And we have forgotten. Forgotten the random acts of kindness we did in the weeks after. Forgotten the innocents lost and the innocents left behind.

Instead I see blind bigotry, blind following and outright hatred. So I'm glad it rained today.

Where have all the people gone?

Having spent yesterday and today running errands I just noticed how empty the stores and roads are! That combined with the weather has put me in a fairly good mood. Now all I have to do is stop thinking about what both will be like in less than 6 months.

I am sloooowly getting things done. I moved another bin out to the new workshop. I'm starting to find all the little UFO's and getting those done. Work is getting easier. I've starting to get my routine down so I'm not so brain fried when I get home.

In retrospect, it could be that I'm no longer tied to the school calendar. After 18 years of kids having one week off out of eight and then the summer off, I'm fast becoming free! That was one of my biggest life stressors. Moreover, Husband wasn't able to help most times. Yes, he has lots of vacation time but with his back, he saves it for that. And my jobs like to pay me for showing up.

I'm getting Younger to help out more as well. Today we went to Shaw's and spent some of her 'free' money for lunches. I found they were selling those heavy canvas bags (which does have their name all over it – Oh well) so I got a couple. I hate those plastic bags! There everywhere and we never use all of the up. We were able to everything we bought into one of them and Younger was very eager to carry it. We made a deal that she will use one everytime she goes to the store and that way all her food is together for her to put away at home. Now all I have to do is convince Husband to use it.

I want less stuff. I hate how my house is so cluttered with it. Most of it is junk anyways and we don't use it. The basement is crammed with all kinds of unused, broken and I have no idea what it is things. And when I have a conversation with Husband about getting rid of things, he wants to throw out the antiques and what we really use. Go figure! Having three non functioning cordless phones packed away is not a problem but keeping a 100 year old WORKING treadle sewing machine is.

I've decided it's up to me to hoe out this place. He plans to play alot of golf this summer and I don't have to work a second job to make ends meet. Even if it's only one room that I can get done, I will feel like a million bucks.

And not have to weave my way around people and cars to get this done helps as well.